For you and your girlfriend not to fall into the trap of these three, please read thoroughly and pass it around.

Bitterness

You have every right to be bitter about your loss. You are the one who pictured that beautiful castle of hope and built it. You are the one who wanted that prince charming and you have him.

BUT suddenly…

Everything is gone! All you struggled for slowly disappeared! Your beautiful castle of hope is ruined! He is gone and…

What else?

You want the best of love but it slipped out of your fingertips. And to punish yourself, you become bitter and not just that. You throw bitterness into your life like the way you apply foundation on your face. You welcome bitterness like a newborn baby.

But you have forgotten this…so I must remind you…

You are not a bad woman. That man left you because he is not the right person for you. What you need from now on is not a cup of bitterness. All you need is common sense plus a heart ready for a fresh start.

Lamentation

How many times have you cried your heart out? For many reasons you are where you are not specifically out of your own faults. You are here right now because someone you once loved failed you. What you wanted you could not get. Thus, you plunge yourself into series of lamentation.

May I ask? What are you going to get out of endless wailings? A gift? A bridal gown? A Plus bonus? A kiss on the cheeks?

Rejection

Your curse your good intention.

Nothing matters to you like before. You avoid your family members, your friends and those who dare to wish you well. That a man rejected you does not mean you too should reject those waiting to comfort you.

Listen, rejection does not mean the end of your life. It simply means the beginning of a new dawn.

Come on, girl! Stand on your feet, shake off that darkness in your mind and let the sun brightly shines through to bring to you that perfect love you deserve.

To your Single Motherhood Success!

For the reason, their children stay alone the more because at that time they are at home, their mothers are at work. Nonetheless, the truth is children need someone to guide them and teach them about life.

And who is this person? YOU!

You may not want to agree with me but I must be very clear with you and I would like you to personally answer these questions,

1) Who are you working for?

2) Why do you decided to work two jobs? For what purpose?

3) Why do you have child (ren) if you cannot be available for them?

Today, many children are missing all over the world and majority of these children got lost when they are alone without their mothers protecting them. If you hear a child missing, try to find out how it happened and you will hear that the child was alone when he or she was kidnapped. Maybe you should ask where was the mother when her child was being snatched from her.

Believe me, you won’t want your child (ren) missing forever BECAUSE you love them and because you are a good mother.

So I want you to do this for them so that you will be appreciated as their mother,

A) Pray for them.

It is not possible to raise God-fearing children without prayer. They need your prayer, and your intervention to God concerning their lives. You are their mother and more than that you serve as keeper because God gives them to you not just like that but because He (God) knows you are capable of praying for them. Through your intercession, they are protected, secure and grow up to accomplish their perfect destiny.

B) Get organised. Create that missing space for your children.

Do not go off to your night job all the time without taking into account what your children are doing, how they are faring in their studies, what emotions they hold up in their heart that they are looking for someone to confide in. Spend times with your child (ren). I repeat, SPEND TIME with them.

C) Double job, less stress

Earning money is great and when you are able to pay all your debt, you will feel at peace with your self BUT when you are working so hard, nearly 24 hours non-stop in double work without relaxing, then you are going to crack!

I bet you are not doing yourself any favour when you have two jobs but less salary. If you are desperate about going on with this double work even though you know the payment is not good, I implore you to take a long pause, think about this. No matter what, your child (ren) is more important than your job(s).

D) Take care of yourself

You are not a wood. You are a unique being and to crown it all, you are a woman. Live your life with joy, without stress and if there is any thing that bothers you, try to solve it or throw it away. You have just one life so make it your ultimate duty to be happy at all time. Take good care of your self, your body, your soul, your hair, your face, your teeth, your eyes, your make-up and you will love this and of course, your child (ren) will be happy too for you?

So whether you like it or not, YOU ARE A MOTHER and a UNIQUE ONE!

To Your Single-Motherhood Success!

The truth is, women, often don’t notice the missing point in their relationship. A woman gives more and more to make her relationship works, and she would be blind to notice that her partner fails to or is not contributing as well.

I have been in this situation before. It was the time that I gave so much. I never bother to notice that my partner hardly cares. I just kept giving without caution. I gave my comfort to let peace reign. I put in all my energy to make it work. I sacrificed so much just to be noticed that I am contributing.

I knew I am not the only one in this. I know that there are several women in this same issue. And I know you are one of us. You know what? It may be funny but it seems that every woman is bond ti experience this.

It is like an eye opener to life – like a lesson for all women to learn so that we can be more ready to move on to a better relationship.

I believe this so much because the day I stop giving so much, and the day I realised that I had been the only partner contributing the more, turned out to be the day I embraced liberty.

I never made such mistake anymore. I am happier now and that’s the way I want my life to be. I don’t have a home where my man pretend to contribute too but does not. I have a home where both of us are together in it to make our harmony works.

This is why I want you to be extremely careful with your choice. If you notice you are the only one who is interested in moving forward your relationship and your partner knows but doesn’t seem to bother, then I implore you to talk this with him.

If he is not willing to change, then move out. I mean- STEP OUT! I won’t encourage you to stay in there and be waiting for him to change. The truth is he will never get changed by you.

If I hadn’t step out of that relationship where I was the only one contributing to it, I wouldn’t have met my husband.

Do not worry about the number of years you spend together. What you need to focus on is the number of fruitful years out there waiting for you.

To your Single Motherhood Success!

Apart for that, a woman will forever remains a woman whether she has a child or not.

And many things are to be taken into consideration by a woman with child. When you are a mother, then you have a concrete responsibility even if you still don’t want to accept this.

That child of yours did not come begging you to be born. You are the one who spread-eagled your legs so high and might welcome in the child. It is your choice.

For this reason
- You must be there 100% to cater for the child.
- In a society where everyone works nearly twenty-four hours, you must create enough time to be with your child.
- Do not maltreat your child just to seek retaliation for your break up with the father of your child. This is no fault of the child and doing you, you are incurring the wrath of God. I knew many mothers do this but the question is; why should a mother maltreats her own child?

- Be ready for close & personal relationship with your child. Let your closeness be more than that of mother and child. Create a friendship bond so strong and full of security.

- Listen to your child. You can’t conclude that all is well with your baby when you don’t listen. Every child wants to confide in someone. And it will be to your shame when your son or daughter goes out to your neighbours to discuss issues with them. Many children I have heard say their mothers don’t listen to them. Some said their mothers won’t believe them.

Does it worth it giving birth to a child when you are not able to care for it?

That you are single does not prevent you having the best of time with your child. You are made for happiness and you deserve it!

Go for it!

To your Single Motherhood Success!

You must know that your children meet large number of people daily than you; particularly on their way to school, to sport centre, while with their friends and in several others ways.

You may have your routinely life, such as going to your work, the supermarket and them straight to your home but children are not like that. They tend to know everywhere and you shouldn’t be surprise when your children reveal the part of your city you never knew exist.

This is why you must teach your children to be nice to people. Their wellbeing in life depends largely on this. When your children appreciate how to deal with people, they won’t have nay problem even if you are not with them.

Children are tender, they are supposed to be innocent but this is not the case in most cases. Children are so vulnerable and this is what you must work on in them. Let them know that they must be nice to people they meet. Though, they should be very careful too.

Many children have been known to have saved their mothers from lots of stresses and have been known to bring smile to their mothers through their generosity to outsider.

Teach your children to give alms to beggar, tell them to treat their class-mates with decency, make it a must to them to smile at people and above all, ensure to remind them at all time to be kind to people.

To your Single Motherhood Success!

Princess Ayelotan

© All Rights Reserved

www.princessayelotan.com

 Being a mother is one aspect and being a ‘good’ mother is another. When you proclaim to the world that you are a mother then you should show it. They should be able to see in your children that indeed you are what you confess you are.

Motherhood takes lot of hard jobs, lots of pains and of course the laughter as well as the joy that come with it.

But to get to that point when you can fully proclaim that you are a good mother, then you must be ready to care a lot for your children. You must be ready to fight through thick and thin for them to live on.

You must be able to train them in the Godly ways and in the will of God so that their lives will be filled with blessings and not curse.

I repeat; motherhood is a big time hard job and If you are not ready for that, then don’t you ever think of getting pregnant talk less of having the baby.

You must work hard to provide for you children now that you are a single mother and you have no one to turn to. Do not think you can just run and abandon your kids.

God is not delighted when you maltreat your children. They are gifts to you thus you must do everything in your power to cater for them.  

As a mother, I implore you today to turn to God, let Him help you. Even those of us with spouses still cry out because we knew the job involve in being mothers.

Thus you as single mother must learn to carry the burden. Do not be ashamed to go on alone. There is no guilt in being a mother. Rather you should be joyful that you are one and you must praise God for being a mother.

Now the question is, how are you taking care of your children, do you just abandon them and zoom off to parties with friends or are you always there for them?

To your Single Motherhood Success!

You will imagine all the efforts you have made, the ones you are making and of course those one in your agenda to make in the coming weeks.

I can pictures the lots and lots of errands you have to run from your house, to your children’s school, to your office, then back to your local supermarket and then to pick your children before you all head home.

Doing this every day; 5 days a week or more can be very challenging.

And one of the most desires you will have on your mind is your children to understand and appreciate you. But in the situation where the reverse is the case, what will you do?

Imagine your children getting you seriously angry about their behaviours? Or you are deeply upset over something they did wrong? What are you supposed to do?

1)      Above all, you must understand that children are the hardest group of people to control. If you don’t accept this, you will found it extremely difficult handling your kids. Yes, children are young but they are very wise, which makes it harder. When you mastered how to deal with your own children, I bet you won’t have much to worry about.

2)     In you moment of anger, please and please, do not curse your children! That will be the greatest mistake you will live to regret on. Have you not heard mothers in your neighbourhood cursing their children freely as if they are giving them gift willingly? It is against the will of God for your life and that of your children. God gives them to you for you to care for them and not to make their lives miserable. Curses are effective and powerful because they are spoken words. Of course, you won’t want bad happenings over your children so avoid cursing them, no matter how hurt you are.

3)     Control your temper. A woman without a mild temper is not yet a real mother. Why do you choose to become a mother when you know you have not been able to discipline your emotions?

One of the best ways to do this is; avoid reacting when you are at the deepest point of your anger. Instead, leave the room and go elsewhere. Just show your children you are angry so that they will understand their fault but DO NOT OVERREACT or you will damage lots of things.

4)     Finally, get closer to God. Believe me; you cannot raise these lovely and little ones on your own. Yes, you are a single mother and this is why you need God’s divine guidance.

God will help you. He sees your efforts, He understands your night cries, He hears you when you scream at your children, He watches over your children when you are far away in your office and they are in school, He places you and your children in the palms of His hands so that no harms will come to you all. So what are you waiting for?

Come on, get to God!

To your Single Motherhood Success!

Princess Ayelotan

©2009 All Rights Reserved

www.princessayelotan.com

Author

TASTE OF HUNGER

www.tasteofhunger.com

SHADOW OF THE SUN

www.shadow-of-the-sun.com

Everywhere was noisy and trying to concentrate was just some wastes. So I spent the moment observing people.

Suddenly from the mini-playground behind me, came a slapping sound. I joined the rest of the women to look. The noise actually came from an African mother correcting her son. She said something and the boy replied rudely. That ignited the African nature in her.

She landed him heavy slaps, without bothering whether we were there. Then she pushed him ahead of her while they left the building. Other kids drew back with terror.

I turned forward to hear two white women angrily condemning the woman for hitting her child that way. Instantly, two African women sitting next to us joined and defended their fellow African woman.  There was nothing these women said that convinced these white women. They were furious and still insist that a woman has no right to use a rod or beat her child no matter what.

That got me into serious thinking.  Must a woman stop correcting her child? No rod, no scold or what?

Correcting a child is dated back long, long, ago even in the Bible. 2 Kings 2:23-24 (NRS) version for Mothers, explained what happened to kids who insulted Prophet Elisha. The book of Proverb wrote so much about why as mothers, we must correct our children when they go wrong.

“Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them” Proverbs 13:24 (NRSV)

Do not buy into the European MENTALITY that you must not beat your child. That you reside in Europe does not mean you should lose yourself and drop the idea of correcting a child.

If you don’t correct your child, how will he or she understand the right from the wrong?

Children are fragile. They need to be told what to do and to teach them how to do it. There are times you will discover that you just have no choice than to use the rod or spank your child. I can tell you, do not spare the rod or you will have yourself to be blame.

To your Single Motherhood Success!

Princess Ayelotan

www.princessayelotan.com

© 2009 All Rights Reserved

Author

TASTE OF HUNGER

www.tasteofhunger.com

SHADOW OF THE SUN

www.shadow-of-the-sun.com

Grace is in love. To her, that matters but when the issue of her daughter comes in, Grace is different. Joyce will not clean up the flat until her mother pays her 30 Euros. When Phil intervenes, trying to stop Grace from paying her own daughter before she would do the right thing that is expected of her, Grace would yell on him. Sometimes, it would be Joyce that confronted Phil, reminding him that he is not her father.

Many of these hurt Phil so much. The most annoying is when Grace herself will not hesitate but keeps on telling him not to talk to her daughter as he wants because he is not the father.

There were days Grace and Joyce will team up against Phil.  When I heard this about few weeks ago, I warned Grace. That a man moved in to live with you does not mean you should disrespect him and lower his image before your daughter.

This adolescent plague is becoming unacceptable. Does a mother have to pay her child before he or she must clean up the house?

You may be living your life as Grace or you have women as her, you need to understand that what you choose for yourself and in your relationship is what you will have.  How you treat your man in front of your child is how that child will behave with your man.

Learn to set the pace, to differentiate the gap between these personalities. Your man is your man, and your child is your child. And both of them are not the same.

If you cannot do this, then it is better you remain single without involving yourself in any relationship.

There is no man who does not yearn for respect even if he is a goat. It is you, the woman in the middle, who will set things right.

When making your decision, I implore you not to be like Grace whose love for her daughter is senseless and overspent.

To your single Motherhood Success!

Princess Ayelotan

www.princessayelotan.com

Author

TASTE OF HUNGER

www.tasteofhunger.com

SHADOW OF THE SUN

www.shadow-of-the-sun.com

In fact, you need to understand that your life has just begun. Making priority of the needs of your kid(s) is important BUT making the most out of your life is your ultimate need.

When your personal life is stable in every area, your kid(s) will appreciate you because they will know that you are making effort to advance not just for your own benefits but them as well. .

Are you thinking that you are past education being a single mother? Or are you afraid of finding yourself back in class amidst younger ones who have not even taste the fruit of motherhood?

There is no way you can progress in your job or in any career you choose without polishing. You will have to continue with your education unless you want to remain redundant for the rest of your life.

I implore you to get back on your feet and make the most of your life. Do not accept the myth that you are past education. This is false! What you believe is what you will gain. Life is all about creating a special life that will be a blessing to you and to your loves ones.

To your Single Motherhood Success!

Princess Ayelotan

www.princessayelotan.com

©2009 All Rights Reserved

Author

TASTE OF HUNGER

www.tasteofhunger.com

SHADOW OF THE SUN

www.shadow-of-the-sun.com